Blood Sucking Bescumber

Do you believe that vampires exist?  I do. But the kind I believe in don’t sparkle in the sun, wear long black capes, or turn into bats.  (Though wouldn't be awesome if they did?) No, the kind of vampires I’m talking about are the kind that suck the energy and life right out of you. 

According to Wiki, Vampires are : "Beings who subsist by feeding on the life essence of living creatures, regardless of whether they are undead or a living person/being." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire) Now, granted, the ones they are speaking of are mythical. But the ones I am talking about are quite real.

I bet you know one. They think the world revolves around them, that other people exist simply to fulfill their desires and whims. "Pay attention to me," is their motto and they play it up better than a cheap B movie actress on coke. Any conversation, at any point in time, anywhere, must be about them. And you, well, you put off your own needs  in order to meet theirs. Babysitting their kids and watching their dog and becoming their psychotherapist are all more important than your own happiness and well being. You feel more tired and stressed, less alive, after interacting with these vampires. And no matter how much  you give, how much blood they drain from you; no matter how much energy these malignant magnets suck from  you, in the end it’s never enough. 

Why do you, and I, put up with this? Inside of our hearts,  we who the world calls "freak, psycho, or crazy," is a reservoir that is bigger than that of most "normal" people, or "civilians, " if you will. This place is meant for compassion, love, tenderness and empathy. And while most civilians seem to have a fair dose, we have more than our share. We love more than others, we FEEL more than others, and we try to please more than others. Perhaps trying to compensate for the "crazy" by caring too much; "They'll accept me if I'm accommodating." So we put our own needs aside, our needs to have someone listen to US, to love US, and to help US. 

On any given day, I only have so much energy to share, so much empathy to give, and so much blood to be drained. My cup does not runneth over. Yes, that reservoir inside me, and you, is bigger than that of civilians, but so are our demands. We're already at a disadvantage because it seems that, while our  spring are  filled with love and kindness, they're also full of fear and anxiety, depression and CLAMOR.  We drain much more quickly than they do, and the only way....the ONLY way, to re-balance this is to be selfish. 

Yes, I said it, selfish. That word has such a negative connotation to it, but, again, according to Wiki, it means, "to place concern with oneself or one's own interests above the well-being or interests of others."

Well that doesn't sound so bad, does it? Not to me. It means that I'd love to babysit your kids...if I have time. I'd jump at the chance to watch your dog.....when I'm feeling better. I'll play psychotherapist to you.....after I see my own. And any civilian who can't understand that is simply not worth my time. I need to put myself first. And so do you. Only by making time for the most important person you know, will you ever be able to share that reservoir with anyone else. Your husband, wife, kids, mother, father, sister or brother will never see the real you if you're running around on empty all the time. Even if it goes against every instinct in your body, be selfish. 

And for all you vampires out there, retract your teeth. They don't scare me. What should scare YOU is ME...on empty. We don't want that, do we? 

©Anne S. Leedy